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Tag Archives: Personal

I am a lady president.

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Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Ang sumusunod ay sampu sa mga kahayupang gagawin ko kapag ako ay naluklok bilang presidente ng Pilipinas. Pasensiya na dahil umuulan sa labas at wala akong magawa.

1. Sa turnover ceremony ay tatawagin kong “bitch” si GMA. Hihingi ako ng paumanhin dahil iyon naman ay aksidente lamang.

2. Anumang kulang sa budget ng pagkain at tuition fee ng mga batang  maralita ay ikakaltas ko na sa sweldo ng mga pulitikong namumuno sa kanila.

3. Kakamkamin ko ang lahat ng lupain at ari-arian ng pamilyang Marcos, Estrada at Arroyo at ipamamahagi ko sa mahihirap. Maging ang lahat ng kayamanan ni Chavit Singson ay aagawin ko na rin.

4. Ililibre ko ang buong bayan sa Bobby Van’s Steakhouse. Mga ka-close ko lang ang dadalhin ko sa Le Cirque para naman makatipid.

5. Magpapa-install ako ng surveillance camera sa lahat ng sulok ng mga opisina ng gobyerno. Yes, pati sa CR. Sinuman ang mahuhuling nangongotong o gumagawa ng kababalaghan ay ipapa-bartolina ko ng isa hanggang tatlong buwan.

6. Salary deduction sa lahat ng senador, congressman, gobernador, mayor, baranggay captain, konsehal etc. na absent o natutulog sa trabaho. (contributed by my vice-president, Shattershards)

7. Hindi maaring tumakbo si Manny Pacquiao. Period. No erase.

8. Bawat P10,000 na ninakaw mula sa kaban ng bayan ay katumbas ng isang putol daliri sa kamay o paa. Hindi ko pa alam ang gagawin ko sa mga pulitikong ubos na ang lahat ng daliri sa katawan. I’ll just cross the bridge when I get there.

9. Sa huling taon ng aking termino ay tatandaan ko ang pangalan ng mga pulitikong hindi pa rin nagbabago at walang kakayahang magbago. Ipapatali ko silang lahat sa puno ng niyog at ipapakain sa mga army ants.

10. Gagawin kong National Artist si Diether Ocampo. Hindi man siya masyadong magaling umarte ay nagu-guwapuhan pa rin ko sa kanya. Ang mga magrereklamo ay gagawin ko ring National Artists.

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Posted by on September 11, 2009 in Jokes, People, Politics

 

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I am a bear brand kid.

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Mama has always been my Jedi master when it comes to motherhood. She has a heart so kind and so pure that even master Yoda pales in comparison.

Come. I will let you in on one of our rarely published mother-daughter conversations. I’m not good with translations so please bear with me.

Me: Ma, kamahal na gid sang gatas subong.  Pwede ko na ilisan ang gatas ni Iago sang baratuhon? (Ma, infant milk is really expensive nowadays. Is it ok if I shift Iago to a cheaper formula?)

Mama: Ok man. Sige. (It’s ok. Do it.)

Me: Pero basi magmango ang bata sina. (But it’s probably going to make him a dumb baby.)

Mama: Indi a. Ok lang na. Ikaw gani Bear Brand ka man lang sang una pero alam ka man gyapon pagdako mo. (Not at all. I only fed you with Bear Brand when you were to little but you still turned out fine.)

Me: Hah? (jaw drop)

God I hope she was just kidding. LOLz.

 
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Posted by on September 9, 2009 in Personal

 

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I am a meat eater.

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My hopes of being vegetarian will be carried over to my next life. I am a T-Rex of my species. A meat eater if you will.

I have a stevedore’s appetite. And because of that, I have been living in constant guilt and fear for my health.

Scenario #1:

Me: (while eating sisig) God will probably punish me for enjoying life too much. An early death or a terminal illness.

Hubby: (annoyed angry look) God is not like that. Why would he punish you for being happy?

Me: (pointing at him with a fork) Hmmm, though it doesn’t change anything, you still have a point.

 
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Posted by on September 8, 2009 in Lessons, People, Personal, Stories

 

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I am three lovers.

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They say that we are all destined to meet three lovers in our lifetime. The one who will love us most. The one whom we will love most. And the one we are going to end up with.

And if we were really really lucky, we’d meet all three of them in one person..

 
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Posted by on August 14, 2009 in People

 

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I am happiness.

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I am everywhere. In simple joys and pretty flowers. In laughter. In strife. Even in sacrifice.

I am always a few inches away from your grasp yet you do not acknowledge me. You act as if you do not know me.

By way of selfishness or vanity, you are scared of me. You refuse to hold me in your hands for fear of losing me in the end.

Please understand that I am temporary. I was made that way so you would cherish me. That is my very essence. That is the whole point of my existence.

Come here child. Stop over-analyzing me. Embrace me. Savor me. Enjoy me while I last..

 
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Posted by on August 4, 2009 in Lessons, People

 

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I am a granddaughter.

Lolo

Lolo Doling

How time flies. You will be 82 years old in September. Just the thought of that makes me want to catch my breath. Where was I when you were ten years younger?

Was I too busy with my work, with my family and with myself that I somehow forgot how utterly wonderful it is to sit on your lap and listen to your many stories?

When I was young, you told me that the sky was only 12 feet high until it got angry at people who tried to poke it with big wooden sticks. I still believe it. And I’m also going to tell my son that story until it becomes the truth. Hehehe.

I love you Lo. I wish I didn’t grow up so you wouldn’t grow old. I wish you’d forever be the forgetful yet brilliant mind that I’ve always looked up to. I wish time was a commodity with a price tag. But that’s not possible right?

Knowing that, I will be reserving a plane ticket so I could go home before the year ends. I am looking forward to that big smile on your face whenever I give your toes a nice pedicure.

 
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Posted by on July 11, 2009 in Personal

 

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I am a freaked out sister.

My sister and fifteen of her other classmates in medical school are down with fever. They probably got it when they all went to a party during the weekend.

Our mom immediately took a ferry to Iloilo after she heard the news. I was initially worried that it might be a case of swine flu but my sister assured me that it is not.

Swine Flue Symptoms

Swine Flu Symptoms

I didn’t want to blog about it until Bebeth was in better shape. She’s poking me non-stop on facebook right now so that should be a good sign.I

 
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Posted by on June 30, 2009 in Personal, Politics

 

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