Ah! The pressure!
I have recently changed my internet name from “iagosmom” to “iamnobe” because it gave me more space to breath.
I was still single when I started blogging. Freedom of expression was never a problem in those times because no one looked up to me like I was some kind of long-haired goddess.
When I got married and became a mom, I started to limit my language and my thoughts within a block of ice in order to please a certain demographic. I did not want to offend anybody nor did I want any other blogger to lecture me on “responsibility”. See how hard I’ve been on myself lately?
I love my son more than anything, but being “iagosmom” online just bored me to death. Motherhood changed me in a lot of ways– even in my style of writing. (Ha! If pushing a 6.4 pound critter out of your vagina doesn’t change you, nothing else will.)
Moving on, I’m already tired of regularly stopping in my tracks to contemplate about all my blog entries and commentaries. Is it demure enough? Does it sound mother-like? Shall I tone it down a little bit?
I'm no Superwoman.
Case in point. I have been itching to talk about the latest of Hayden Kho sex videos for weeks now. I want to say this and this and that but I can’t because I am supposed to be blushing over these things and most importantly, I don’t want people to know that I’ve been watching those videos!
Then it suddenly dawned on me… motherhood does not define all of me. It is merely an extension of my crazy and opinionated self.
Is it possible that I took motherhood the wrong way? Instead of limiting me, it should actually give me some level of authority to talk about things like sex, love and rock n’ roll right?
(think think) As much as I want to elaborate on the matter, I’m already tired of listening to myself. So there…