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Monthly Archives: October 2009

I am irony.

cherry

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Ang mga lalake hanap ng hanap ng virgins pero sila rin naman ang  umuubos ng mga virgins dito sa mundo.

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Posted by on October 30, 2009 in People

 

I am an angry Filipino.

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YOU THINK?? WTF is the matter with this people? Mag-iisang buwan na matapos masalanta ang mga kababayan natin. ISANG BUWAN!! Do you mean “do not delay ang dati nang delayed”? Shet.

Anong ginagawa ng mga donations na ito sa warehouse? APAT na warehouse ang nasa loob ng compound na ‘yon! APAT na warehouse na punong-puno ng inaalikabok na relief goods! Relief goods na ayaw yata ibigay sa mga nasalanta. Halatang-halata. ~ Blog ni Ella.

Now tell me, what’s worse than seeing Gloria Arroyo burping on a one million peso dinner at Le Cirque? DSWD hoarding international relief goods of course!

I hope the blog where I got this from is just a hoax. I fervently wish that the girl who wrote these words is lying. I truly do. I truly do.

If there is a single speck of truth in what she has written, then we will be nothing but vultures who feed on rotten and smelly corpses, in the eyes of the world.

I am already embarrassed by the corrupt stain that has tainted the image of this beautiful nation. A nation supposedly crowded with heroes.  A nation where people risk and give their lives to save others.

DSWD. What the #$^& were you thinking? You people are robbing Ondoy victims of the things that could sustain them for one more night! What could be lower that that? Brrr.. this is more disturbing than Bagyong Ondoy itself!

One dying person could have lived another day if you handed him one can of that imported corned beef . One sick child would have survived if you handed her that frigging blanket. You could have saved a few more lives if you didn’t act like some kind of vermin!

Oh God! I really hope hell exists! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go vomit now.

 
18 Comments

Posted by on October 23, 2009 in People

 

I am three nightmares.

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I am what happens when the following people close their eyes and go to sleep. (evil grin)

Richard Gutierrez

1. Mishaps involving airplanes, speedboats, automobiles and other modes of transportation.

2. Anabelle Rama’s big mouth.

3. Waking up looking like  Rene Requiestas.

Hayden Kho

1. Having sex with a 65 year old woman named Vicki.

2. The words “two inches” in big bold letters . (wink)

3. Being castrated by ghosts of girlfriends past.

Kris Aquino

1. HERSELF, literally being IN the center of the earth.

2. HERSELF, having the surname “Alatiit” instead of “Aquino”.

3. HERSELF, being gagged into oblivion by Boy Abunda.

Anabelle Rama

1. Waking up with a severe case of tonsilitis.

2. Wilma Galvante clad in a seductive playboy bunny costume.

3. Waking up without lawsuits that fuel her enthusiasm to live.

Mikey Arroyo

1. Tasting the sweet and salty taste of sardines for the very first time.

2. Drowning in thirty tons of 10-peso coins.

3. Being trapped in a roof amid a sea of expensive wine at the height of a typhoon Ondoy.

Chavit Singson

1. Being chewed alive by wild animals from his personal collection.

2. Not having enough money and semen to rule the world.

3. Being horsewhipped by no less than Che Tiongson.

Joseph Estrada

1. The extinction of ignorant people who still want him to become president.

2. The extinction of stupid people who still want him to become president.

3. The extinction of gullible people. Period.

 
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Posted by on October 8, 2009 in Jokes, Lessons, Movies, People, Politics

 

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I am a mother.

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There are things a small baby can do to you that can only be described by cliches like “Motherhood changes you for the better.” or “Being a parent is the best thing in the world.” or “Life will never be the same again after having a child.”

I wish there were better adjectives in the english language that could define the surreal feeling of carrying a two year old boy in my arms.

Now, everything that doesn’t concern his future is a non-issue. What is happening to me? Have I become a stalker of my own son? Is this normal?

If I were still a 22 year old yuppie right now, I’d say, “Ewe!” after sipping on a warm cup of Starbucks coffee. But that was ages ago. In a world where only I and my worldly hopes and dreams exist.

Aaaargh! I’m sorry. I can’t quite explain myself and how I feel. Enough for now. First, let me find the words.

And uh by the way, happy birthday son. Thank you for making me sound like a confused vocabulary-challenged person. Mwaaah!

 
14 Comments

Posted by on October 6, 2009 in Blogging, Jokes, Movies

 

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