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Monthly Archives: June 2009

I am a freaked out sister.

My sister and fifteen of her other classmates in medical school are down with fever. They probably got it when they all went to a party during the weekend.

Our mom immediately took a ferry to Iloilo after she heard the news. I was initially worried that it might be a case of swine flu but my sister assured me that it is not.

Swine Flue Symptoms

Swine Flu Symptoms

I didn’t want to blog about it until Bebeth was in better shape. She’s poking me non-stop on facebook right now so that should be a good sign.I

 
5 Comments

Posted by on June 30, 2009 in Personal, Politics

 

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I am 12 tips to surviving a pesky in-law.

Disclaimer: All the characters mentioned in this article are fictional hallucinations only. Any similarities to actual persons, places or events are purely coincidental and mildly unintentional.

Getting married entails the privilege of adding fifty relatives to your family tree. In a basket full of delectable and crunchy apples, there should be a couple of rotten ones to spoil your fun. Here are my 12 fool proof tips to surviving a pest-y, I mean pesky in-law.

1. In the words of Rachel Leigh Cook.. be silent, be still, be silent, be still– because anything you say can and will be used against you. Pesky people will promise you that.

Avoid

Avoid!

2. Read the line Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.”
100 times before you sleep. Frame it on your wall if you have to.

3. When you’re angry, count 1 to 10 backwards. When you’re really really angry, count 1 to 100 backwards. So on and so forth.

4. Smile, though your heart is aching. Smile, even though it’s breaking. Wait! That’s a song right?

Smile!

Smile!

5. Let her play alone with your child but first, teach your little tyke a lesson on self defense. Hiyaah!

6. Never draw first blood unless your name is John Rambo.

7. Never do business with her unless she promises to put up the capital, give you all the profit and migrate to Timbuktu.

8. Speak only when you’re spoken to. What’s the point of getting up close and personal with someone you don’t like (vice-versa) anyways?

9. Of the thirty-six strategies, fleeing is best. Avoid confrontations as much as you can. And please, for the love of God, live in different buildings!

10. Blog about it and tell everybody you’re just joking.

Blog!

Blog!

11. Take comfort in the fact that your husband hates her too but can’t get rid of her because they’re blood related. For what it’s worth, he’s in deeper shi*t than you are.

12. Always know where you stand. Even if you’re not the crazy bitch around here, blood will always be thicker than water. Just like in your own family.

Lesson learned. Pesky in-laws are like diabetes, it’s going to be there forever but there are a lot of ways to work around it.

Now what are you waiting for? Start smiling sideways!

 
13 Comments

Posted by on June 30, 2009 in People, Personal

 

I am a funny moment.

In a time of global warming, equal rights and economic recessions… men and women seem to undergo a reversal of fortune of some sort.

I am a funny moment that happened a few years ago.  It may not be as crack worthy to you as it is to me but I will share it anyway. Here goes…

Two lovers were in the middle of a motel entrance when the girlfriend (who was the one sitting behind the wheel) suddenly stopped the car to a halt. She looked at her nervous boyfriend and said:

Girlfriend: “Sigurado ka nga ready ka na? Pwede ko ya kahulat.” (Are you sure you’re ready for this? I’m willing to wait.)

Boyfriend (sweating profusely): “Oo. Sigurado na ko.” (Yes. I’m really sure.)

… and the tall gates of the motel closed with the two dimwits inside.

25 Year-Old Virgin

23 Year-Old Virgin

I am no Maria Clara nor am I a supporter of male chauvinism but sometimes I miss living in a world where men are men and women are women. Sigh.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on June 29, 2009 in People, Personal

 

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I am an open letter.

An Open Letter to Manny Villar
CC: Mar Roxas
BCC: Ad Hungry Politicians

Dear Manuel,

I commend you sir, for single-handedly taking the term “camwhore” to the next level. I thought Bong Revilla was going to do it but you did!

Mr. Tondo

Mr. Tondo

I used to like you Mr. Senator. You and your rags-to-riches rise from poverty. That crumbling shack in Moriones St. has made you an icon to the masses– but don’t you think it’s already a bit overplayed? I’ve seen you for far too many times on TV that I now hate seeing the color orange.

I heard you spent 300 million pesos on those commercials. Are you crazy? Have you forgotten how hard it is to even earn 300 pesos these days?

We are not as dumb as you think sir. We are a nation forged by years of war, dictatorship and corruption. We will know a good leader when we see one. The only problem is that we haven’t seen one in many years.

Please spend your millions where it is sorely needed. You, of all people, should know how many lives you can change with even a small portion of that. The only people who profit from these political ads are the those who already own 25 to 50 buildings in this country.

Let’s make a deal Mr. Senator. I promise to vote for you if you start feeding hungry kids in Payatas behind my back. The media is going to show it on TV anyway. Were talking 10,000 pogi point and free publicity here.

Mr. Padyak

Mr. Padyak

.. and kindly tell Mar Roxas that a bear is two inches short from having the skin that he has. His fiancee is an intelligent and respectable woman. How he trampled on her childhood dreams for romance and true love by making her an accessory to his political ambitions.

A marriage proposal on Wowowee? Bravo sir, how momentous! I wonder why he didn’t drive a padyak onstage and did the moonwalk after pulling over.

Tsk. Tsk. I won’t be surprised if suddenly he guest stars as “Bro” (finally revealed) in May Bukas Pa– flashing those big white molars in the end credits. Grrr! $#^!!%^&^!*F^&^*%&^&^%@#*!##^%%*@!!!!!

That was my one year old son typing the last line by the way. It’s his future too anyway.

 
22 Comments

Posted by on June 29, 2009 in Current Events, Personal, Politics, Television, Videos

 

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I am iagosmom.

Mommy

Ah! The pressure!

I have recently changed my internet name from “iagosmom” to “iamnobe” because it gave me more space to breath.

I was still single when I started blogging. Freedom of expression was never a problem in those times because no one looked up to me like I was some kind of long-haired goddess.

When I got married and became a mom, I started to limit my language and my thoughts within a block of ice in order to please a certain demographic. I did not want to offend anybody nor did I want any other blogger to lecture me on “responsibility”. See how hard I’ve been on myself lately?

I love my son more than anything, but being “iagosmom” online just bored me to death. Motherhood changed me in a lot of ways–  even in my style of writing. (Ha! If pushing a 6.4 pound critter out of your vagina doesn’t change you, nothing else will.)

Moving on, I’m already tired of regularly stopping in my tracks to contemplate about all my blog entries and commentaries. Is it demure enough? Does it sound mother-like? Shall I tone it down a little bit?

Im no Superwoman.

I'm no Superwoman.

Case in point. I have been itching to talk about the latest of Hayden Kho sex videos for weeks now. I want to say this and this and that but I can’t because I am supposed to be blushing over these things and most importantly, I don’t want people to know that I’ve been watching those videos!

Then it suddenly dawned on me… motherhood does not define all of me. It is merely an extension of my crazy and opinionated self.

Is it possible that I took motherhood the wrong way? Instead of limiting me, it should actually give me some level of authority to talk about things like sex, love and rock n’ roll right?

(think think) As much as I want to elaborate on the matter, I’m already tired of listening to myself. So there…

 
9 Comments

Posted by on June 28, 2009 in Blogging, Internet

 

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I am a blogger.

Janette Toral, author of the Digital Filipino website, encourages all bloggers to come up with their top ten list of blogs that made an impact on their readers in 2009. 1.  Hay Men! Ang blog ng mga tunay na lalake!- I will nominate this blog if only for the dozes of laughter I get when I read any one of its entries.

2. Good Times Manila- If you think this blog is screwing with you then it is. It says so in the disclaimer. Hehe.

3. Patay Gutom – Any blog that says “Application for new members are now closed. Because… it’s not open anymore.” on their membership form wins my heart. I never thought the word “patay gutom” can sound so classy. Hehehe.

4. Numbrd- I’m including this blog in my shortlist for it’s sheer uniqueness. I hate numbers by the way.

5. Chasing Light- This blogs is so full of life and positivity. Plus, I heart anyone who can make Spanish Sardines in Tetra Pack look good in pictures.

6. Zorlone- He reminds me of an art I have long since forgotten.

7. Writing to Exhale- One word. Elegance.

8. The Thirsty Blogger – This is a toast to relationships that were formed, mended and ended over drinks. It has always been a mystery why some people are willing to shed a couple hundred bucks on drinks that they can take buy anywhere for more than half the price. Well I say, it’s not about the tea. It’s about the time

.

9. Bahay ni Badong- I have enough deep thoughts in my brain that I can handle. If this blog was a movie, it’s a feel good movie.

10. This is why you’re fat.- Wow, ang sarap mabuhay!

Go to Top Ten Emerging Influential Blogs of 2009 by Janette Toral. This writing project will not be possible without the support of sponsors such as Absolute Traders, My Brute Cheats, Business Summaries, Fitness Advantage Club, Events and Corporate Video, http://www.eventsatwork.com/, Dominguez Marketing Communications, Red Mobile, Budget hotel in Makati, and Blog4Reviews.com.

 
63 Comments

Posted by on June 28, 2009 in Blogging, Current Events, People

 

I am an MJ fan.

If there’s one good thing about Michael Jackson’s death at age 50 today, it’s the fact that we won’t see this great man self-destruct before our very eyes. I only want to remember the glory that is Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson Glory Days

Michael Jackson

Bye Mike! It’s hard to envision the world without you but I’d rather you go this way.

 
7 Comments

Posted by on June 26, 2009 in Current Events, Music, People

 
 
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